This was really strange. Strange during that time and much more strange now for me thinking back - I just realize it now that that was the first time I got myself to think about the taste in my mouth when I was with a woman in the situation I was in. Looking back, I wanted to know why I was thinking of those things. And this is where it is - I wanted my mouth free of any taste because I wanted nothing but her taste in my mouth.
With the Corona bottle, I sent her a copy of a poem by Pablo Neruda who happens to be one of my favorite poets. I was just new to reading Neruda poems during that time. It was then very hard to get copies of his books in the Philippines. The only way I could get hold of them was to ask my family in the US to send me copies. Back then, I didn’t have a lot of copies of Neruda poems unlike now when I have a lot of them. But even with the limited options I had, I thought the poem I chose was good enough in expressing what I felt.
I sent her : “I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair “.
I Crave Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair
Don't go far off, not even for a day
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because –
I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station when the trains
are parked off somewhere else, asleep.
Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.
Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,
because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander lazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?
- Pablo Neruda
I didn’t put anything else in the package. All it contained was the Corona Beer bottle filled with sand, the Neruda poem that I hand wrote on a thick white paper. I have terrible handwriting but I tried my best to make my handwriting legible. Being college mates for four years, she knew I have awful handwriting and I am guessing when she reads the poem and sees she can read my handwriting with ease, she will appreciate the effort I put into it.
I didn’t write anything else. Just like the time we were in the beach, I thought words were unnecessary. I did not even explain the sand inside the Corona Beer bottle. I was guessing she will understand - I was the only one drinking Corona that time, the rest of them did not like the taste and the strength of it. And the sand was obviously beach sand. I was thinking we connected so well, that even without words, she will understand what I was saying in that package. The title of the poem also speaks volume. The content of the poem I was hoping she will understand what I felt about the time in the beach and what kind of longing I had for her.
The LBC package reached her the next day. On the same day she received the package, I also received something from her. Such amazing coincidence, don’t you think?
P: oh my, Neruda pa talaga this thread is such a nice company for my stay-at-home-all weekend thing...tnx franco sa noo.
one of pablo neruda's books
Fast forward ang story:
The day after I sent my package, the whole morning, I felt agitated and a mixture of anxiety and excitement because I knew she will receive the package midmorning. I was in a meeting for most part of the morning and was lunch time already. I was most anxious that I might get a call from her. What I was worried most was that she will call me to ask me what the Corona Beer bottle filled with sand was about and what it meant. She will surely understand the Neruda poem, the words were there to read. The bigger worry for me was, will she understand the words I didn’t write with the Corona Beer bottle and sand?
I was on my way out of my office when the secretary stopped me as I was to pass through. She was holding in her hand an LBC package. I instantly knew what it was. I grabbed it from her hand and went back in to my office. I closed and locked the door and stood by the window of my office overlooking Ayala Avenue and opened the package.
I did not want to sit on my chair. I wanted to open the package by the window where I could feel the warmth of the sun, see the bright day, and the shadows that the sun cast on the people walking down on the street below. I thought the best way to open the package was to come as close as I can to the atmosphere of the beach where it all happened even though I was on Ayala Avenue.
I left the office after I opened the package with a smile and had a good lunch. I went home late that day from work, we needed to be in meetings the whole day, more meetings and some work during the night. I was happy because I did not get a call from her that day. That meant she read the words I had not written. I was not disappointed. It meant we connected very well that even unwritten words were read and understood.
I got from her a greeting card. (ha ha ha) That might sound kinda weird and a let down. But I found it extra sweet and romantic. Sure it was just a greeting card and unusual but it to me it wasn’t just a greeting card. I found it a bit humorous. I must be the only guy in this world who got a Hallmark greeting card from a woman I had unintentional and unplanned hot sex with. (ha ha)
The card had a picture of al most blue moon on a deserted beach. Inside, the card didn’t have printed words on it. All it had was one sentence, in her handwriting, it read: "Thank you for the silent kisses. My heart heard each one."
Yup, we were connected. The words she wrote meant much more to me than just the vocabulary meaning, but what I thought she understood. We seem to have continued the pattern we started in the beach - words were not necessary, the absence of words and the silence was eloquent enough. To this day, that was the best greeting card I ever got in my life.
s: u got me hooked franco....first time ko to read your story....
s: Pablo Neruda You are so dreamy franc0, can you be mine? O sya sige, finish na your kwento. Bad trip naman yang brownout oh, its not cooperating!
